The Christmas I Most Remember

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© Copyright 1999 by John L. Waters.
All Rights Reserved.
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The Christmas I Most Remember

The Christmas I most remember
Still shines like a bright ember.
I was only one and twenty,
Or one and twenty-one.
I was keen on mathematics
But not on aquabatics
Or on dry adiabatics
Or on writing all in fun.

Delighting in the ambience
Of fond yuletide rememberance
I feasted on some coated mints
And chocolates galore
Until an inner gravity,
An agonized depravity,
A deepening dental cavity
Began to pain me sore.

Reflected from an ornament
I saw the family merriment
In faces lit up all aglow
At opening Christmas treats.
The throbbing pain I felt within
Caused me to sweat and reel and spin
And to wish I'd never ever been
So fond of candied sweets.

A few days later I was there
Sitting in the dentist's chair
Dreading the shot of novocaine
And all the painful drilling.
Doctor MacAdams walked right in.
He looked my way and with a grin
He said to me, "You're deep in sin
And your teeth aren't worth me filling."

His poking and his probing done, 
The dentist spoke of three, not one,
And filling those cavities wasn't fun
Or kind to my finances.
I wondered how I'd ever end
My need for candy as a friend,
And all my heinous errors mend
Without worse consequences.

It wasn't for some twenty years
And quite a number of more fears
The answer came to me in tears
On a day in mid-July.
Soon after I was forty-two,
And I felt better through and through
Without the need for meat or stew
Or birthday cake or pie.

Each year around the holidays
I think about my former ways
And all that erudite verbal haze
About my being insane.
I'm glad I still have all my teeth
And that I don't need those old beliefs
Which bring so many so much grief
And aggravate the brain.

If I were Mister Santa Claus
I'd take a moment and I'd pause
To drop this electronic package
Into each and every house.
If Santa Claus is just a myth,
You still can give your friends a lift
And forward this with a few swift
Left clicks of your mouse.

(contributor:  John L. Waters)      

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